Friday, February 26, 2010


We enter into relationships all the time. Some are never pursued, for whatever reasons, but others are cultivated on a daily basis. There are no written rules for relationships, even in a marriage. Oh, in marriage there is the 'love, honour and obey' bit, but I don't think much cognisance is given to that these days.

In all relationships there are implied and infered expectations. Rarely are these verbalised, except perhaps parent to child (I expect you to...), and then most likely with irritation. And expectations change over time, too.

What are your expectations of your current partner? And what does he/she expect of you? Do either of you actually know?

I have been married for going on 35 years this year. I'm very fortunate that my husband is kind and supportive of any venture I undertake. He is neither verbally nor physically abusive. He is loving, affectionate and loyal. And undemanding. But what are his expectations of our relationship? Has he even thought about it? I tried to think what I expect of him, and it's actually quite difficult. Is this because he has already met and surpassed all my conscious and subconscious expectations? I found it easier to list what I think he expects of me - and I realised that what I think he expects of me is what I expect of me. So am I falling short?

Maybe it's time we all verbalised our expectations, so we each know where we stand. Suppressing emotion is damaging to our physical health and our relationships.

1 comment:

Tony Stewart said...

Maybe time to sit down and talk although we are both a bit lazy on this issue. But comms are very important - even at work just sorting out a few things makes you feel different! Thanks for your lovely comments - I do love you very much you know.